How To Write A Good Profile.

Internet Dating Tips

Online Dating Rules

Sunday, May 20, 2012, 5:56 am

	How To Write A Good Profile.

Should I Be Honest?

It's regrettable, but many online dating profiles are outright lies. Even what people tell you over the phone and in person may not be true. That's why many singles have learned to 'read in between the lines'. In their attempt to put their 'best foot forward', singles will often misrepresent who they really are. If honesty is important to you, you can send that message clearly by writing an honest profile.

Years ago before online dating became popular, I answered a personal ad from someone who sounded wonderful over the phone. When I asked her what she looked like, she told me she had a 'hour glass figure'. We met at a coffee shop and when I walked in I didn't see anyone with an hour glass figure. However there was someone waiving at me and smiling. She was 500 pounds! What turned me off more than her weight, was that she blatantly lied to me.

Bad Profiles.

Let me share with you the true meaning of words and phrases you'll find in personal ads. You'll want to avoid these words, and other messages that are unspoken. Since I'm a man, I'll talk in terms of what women say, but my women friends tell me that men are equally guilty of stretching the truth.

Although the following is meant to be light and humorous, but the hidden messages may be right on the money. Here are some interesting things women say in their profiles and what it's likely to mean to some men. If you're a woman you'll want to avoid communicating these hidden messages.

Make me laugh can mean that you're sad, depressed, and carrying a lot of emotional baggage.
Average means overweight.
A few extra pounds means obese.
Big boned means fat.
Recently separated can mean that you just had an heated argument with your husband today and he stormed out of the house to clear his mind.
50ish could mean that you're having your 60th birthday tomorrow, (or perhaps 5 years ago if your profile has been online a long time).
My children are everything to me, could mean that you have no room for a relationship with a man.
I am a 'traditional' woman who loves travel and fine dining could mean that you have expensive tastes but no intentions of paying for what you want. Some men might assume you're a gold digger looking for a w ealthy sugar daddy.
I need a diversion, could mean you're a workaholic and don't have much time for a relationship.
Don't be a liar. Don't send me an email if all your looking for is sex. Don't be a loser. Don't be unemployed. Don't, ... This is someone who tells you all the things she doesn't want. She's motivated by fear and what she wants to avoid. She has a clear picture of the man she doesn't want rather than a clear picture of the man she's looking for.
I'm a perfectionist could mean that you're seldom happy because perfection is hard to attain.
DO NOT USE ALL CAPITAL LETTERS profile. We all know that they are 'shouting' but we're not sure why. Reading the words may offer some clues. They could be a very angry, or they might not be aware of how to communicate respectfully online.
People with something to hide usually check the 'prefer not to say' boxes.
People who are overweight may underestimate their weight or leave it out of their profile. People who are slim or attractive almost always disclose this information. Many times they'll say, "I'm 5' 2", 107 lbs, ..." i.e. they'll be very specific about what they look like.

Should I Lie About My Age?

What I've found is that women criticize men greatly for what they say in their profiles but most are totally oblivious to their own communication or lack there of.

While it's true that men in general don't understand a women's perspective, the opposite is also true. There is a lack of understanding on both sides of the fence. Women can't understand why men say what they say. And men can't understand women.

Perhaps a little empathy and consideration for people in general, whether they are male or female would go a long way in creating better relationships.

In my opinion a woman who will not disclose her age and other personal details in the early stages of dating, is either insecure and secretive by nature or not interested in a serious relationship.

Many women will talk about how important honesty and communication is to them but this is often a one way street. i.e. I need you to open and honest but I'm going to be 'mysterious'.

If a man is asking about age, it is obviously an important to him. Perhaps he's looking to settle down and wants to be with someone younger or the same age as he is. If he's just looking for fun, age probably wouldn't make any difference.

Whether you disclose your age honestly are not depends on if you're an honest person or not. If honesty, integrity, and open communication is important to you, then you should always be true to yourself.

Pictures In My Profile.

Some people do not use their own picture and pictures may not be recent.

I met one 50 year old woman that put her high school picture in her profile!!! Needless to say she looked nothing like her picture when I met her. I felt like ending our first date even before it began.

Always include a very recent, high quality picture. Several pictures are better than one.

How To Write A Good Online Profile.

Now that you know what not to say, here's what you should include.

Your profile should merely arouse curiosity and a desire for someone to know more.
There's no need to lay out your entire life story, all the things you like and don't like, etc.
Your only goal is for readers to say, 'Yes, this person is interesting' or 'Yes, I'd like to know more.'

Having said that, it's always best to be 100% honest.

That doesn't mean you need to disclose everything. It just means that if you say something, it should be 100% truthful.

Include a good quality recent picture.
Be honest about your height, weight, and handicaps if you have them. But also give singles a reason for liking your profile.
Be yourself, be original, and be genuine.
Headlines are important. Spend most of your time creating an interesting headline and first paragraph.

Your profile may not appeal to everyone and that's ok. It's better to have an honest but interesting profile that appeals to a few people, than a generic profile that appeals to almost everyone. Why? Because eventually you will need to meet people in person. For example, if you love ballroom dancing and absolutely need to have someone with the same interest, make sure it's clear in your profile. Why waste time emailing people that aren't compatible?

Please understand that some very nice and interesting singles aren't good at writing interesting profiles. If that would be you, consider asking a friend to write your profile or be honest and tell people that it isn't easy for you to write a fabulous profile! When you're reading profiles online remember that the really interesting ones may not mean anything. It may only mean that they are very good at writing.

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