Breaking up with your boyfriend can be a devastating emotional experience. It is understandable that you would want to get back together.
Chances are that your boyfriend wants to get back together with you as well even though it may not seem that way right now. Here's what you can do to get your boyfriend back.
First of all you need to be coming from a place of love for your boyfriend. There should be no thoughts of anger for what your boyfriend may have done to you.
And even though you may 'need' your boyfriend back right now, you should be more concerned about the happiness of your boyfriend and not yours. That's the meaning of love. It's accepting someone else just the way they are and wanting the best for them even if it's not what you want.
The reason why your mind and emotions need to come from love and acceptance is that if you talk to your boyfriend from a standpoint of your needs or self interest, it will be very obvious to him.
If you want your boyfriend back are you interested in
If you talk about what YOU want, he will not be sure if you really love him or your just interested in your own happiness.
After you're in the right frame of mind, you should approach your boyfriend from a place of honesty about how you feel for him.
Forget about blame or criticism or guilt trips or any negative comments whatsoever.
If you love him, tell him that. If you want what's best for him even though it's different from what you want, tell him that too.
Next, admit that the reason for the break up was all your fault even though it's never one person's fault. He knows this too but may not want to admit to it.
If you admit blame first he may be willing to do the same and if he doesn't what difference does it make?
You want your boyfriend back. Is it better to have him back or is it better to be 'right'? Only you can decide. Also if you get into an argument about who's at fault or how much he hurt you, it's less likely that he'll want to get back together with you!
Also when you admit that the breakup was all your fault, he is more likely to respect you.
He knows it was partly his fault or perhaps all his fault and didn't admit it to it first first. If you do what is difficult for him to do, he will love you more and know that you are willing to do whatever it takes to get him back.
He will know that you love him without you even saying it. Why? Because you are willing to see things from his perspective, not yours. That's true love.
After this conversation, if your boyfriend misses you and wants you back, he may melt in your arms and tell you how much he loves you.
However if your break up was more serious, there may be hesitation. Perhaps he's already found someone else he likes and now he needs to make a choice between you and his new love.
The next step if admitting being at fault doesn't do it, is to talk about why a future break up is not likely and how the both of you can be much happier together.
If the reason for your breakup was because of your personal problems tell him that you have started therapy and will continue to get professional help. Or if you cheated on him, tell him why it will never happen again.
I admit that the following plan for getting your boyfriend back isn't easy especially if you were hurt by what you feel your boyfriend did to you. The way to get your boyfriend back is simple but it can be difficult to do emotionally. It also leaves you very vulnerable.
There is a chance that he might not want you back even if you try your best. Are you willing to take a risk? If not, you may not be able to get your boyfriend back. The choice is yours.
Here's the way the conversation should go if you really want your boyfriend back:
You can also thank him for breaking up with you! This will throw him off guard because he's not expecting you to say this.
Tell him that the time apart, has made you realize how important he is in your life.
Tell him that you took him for granted and it was a mistake.
As him to forgive you and that you will appreciate him more than ever from now on.
If he's still not sure, suggest a trial arrangement.
He'll get back together with you for a few days, a week, or a month, - whatever you both can agree on.
During that time you'll prove to him how much you love him more than anyone else can, ...
If he's not happy after the trial period, you will not try to stop him from leaving. You will wish him well and never ask him to get back together with you again.
You might also tell him that the both of you have invested a lot of time in the relationship and that you want to give it one last chance.
Tell him you're willing to invest a few more days to see if the relationship can be saved. If it can't, there will be no regrets and the both of you can move on. Ask him if he's willing to give it one last try.
If your boyfriend still doesn't want to get back together with you, don't get upset. If you do, it will ruin everything that you've just done. It's not over yet.
Simply tell him you understand and respect his decision. (Men are always secretly looking for respect so this is a good word to throw in once in a while.)
Be calm and relaxed.
Tell him that you wont bother him anymore but if he has a change of heart in the next couple days, to give you a call.
Then leave on pleasant terms. If there's any hope that he wants you back he'll call you. And if he doesn't love you, you'll know you did everything you can to get your boyfriend back. Why would you want a man back that doesn't love you?
If you follow this plan you'll never blame yourself for the break up. Yes you may have contributed, but you did your best to save the relationship in a loving way.
Best of all you can respect yourself for the way you handled the situation. Can you imagine how you would feel if you married someone like this and he wasn't willing to forgive you? Is that the kind of relationship you would want?
If he doesn't get back together with you, look for ways to recover from your loss and move on. Soon you will find someone who is willing to work through the tough times and who loves you unconditionally.