Getting your ex boyfriend back is a more serious undertaking than just getting your boyfriend back because it implies that he has moved on and perhaps even has someone special in his life. But if you really love him, there is hope. Here's what you can do.
The first step in getting your ex back is to know the reasons why you want him back in your life. Make a list.
You'll need to be clear on this before you look for ways to get him back. What do you miss about him? What are his good qualities? What don't you like about him? What led to the break up and what could you have you done differently?
What you need to do is convey to him in a loving way, the reasons you want him back and why you feel the relationship is worth saving.
Be honest about how much you love and miss him but be respectful as well. Tell him that you are willing to do whatever it takes to build a happy life together, if he is willing to try.
The important part of all this is not so much the words, it's the emotions behind the words that count.
You should always look at things from his perspective and look to address his concerns about getting back together.
Too often when we're hurt and in pain we only think of ourselves. It's natural but doesn't help when we want someone back.
When you come from a place of need you will push your ex away.
When you come from a place of genuine love for your ex you may attract him back into your life. If he has someone new already, chances are that you love him much more than his new girlfriend does and both of you know it.
It's not easy when your hurt, lonely, and upset, but you can do it if you really love him from the bottom of your heart. He will sense your sincerity and it will go a long way in getting him back.
Most of the time when we want someone back we hope and wish they will make the first move, because it's difficult for us to do it.
It would be nice if he left his new girlfriend (if he has one), apologized, and begged you to take him back. But in the the real world that may not happen especially if he's found someone who makes him feel wonderful right now.
The longer you wait to tell him you want him back the harder it will be.
You can take a chance that he'll want you back without any effort on your part, but it's a big gamble.
You need to decide if your ego is more important or your ex is.
Obviously if you tell him you want him back you'll be doing the same thing you want him to do and it's probably not going to happen. Even if he still loves you there's a chance that he could ask you back and you could reject him.
The same is true for you. The risk of rejection and damage to your ego is always a possibility. Do you love him enough to make the first move?
That's one way of doing it, but it puts them in an awkward place. Plus your ex boyfriend may not appreciate that your friends and relatives are getting involved. The other concern is respect. He will respect you far more if you approach him directly rather than indirectly.
The best way to talk about getting back together with your ex is in person. Call or email to set up an appointment for coffee at a neutral place like a restaurant. Don't go to his place and don't invite him to your place especially if he has a new girlfriend. Be vague about why you want to meet but don't lie about the reason either. Make sure you're calm and relaxed whenever you talk with him.
The second best way is on the phone. The problem with speaking on the phone about getting back together is that the visual part of your discussion will be missing. You will not be able to read his body language or sense emotions like you would if you met in person.
The third way to communicate is by writing a personal letter.
The fourth way is to exchange emails.
Even though meeting in person is the best way to talk about something as important as your future as a couple, it can be emotionally hard to do.
Remember that list of reasons why you want your ex back? You could bring it with you.
You can tell your ex that you are nervous and emotionally upset if you are because it's best to be honest than pretend that you're fine with everything if you really aren't. He'll read through any dishonesty faster than you can speak. But you must convey to him that despite your negative emotions you still love him deeply and want to work things out with him because he's so important to you.
You could ask him if he loves you but there is a chance that he'll say no. It's best to go over all the reasons why you love him first and why you believe it's best to get back together.
Admit that the reason for the break up was all your fault - even if it wasn't! You might admit that you could have done more to make him happy. You can tell him that your separation has made you appreciate him more and you'd like to have another chance to prove your love.
If he says no reluctantly, tell him that you understand. Acknowledge his new girlfriend if he has one and compliment him on his choice if you know her. Then suggest a trial period where you'll get together for a few days or a week.
If it doesn't work out you'll both know for sure that you've done everything possible to save the relationship.
This may not work if he already has a girlfriend because he knows he'll probably lose her. But it's worth a try.
If all else fails, thank him for meeting you and tell him you love him. Don't be angry. If you're speaking to him in a loving way, chances are he's not rejecting you personally.
He's only making a decision that feels better for him right now. Tell him that you respect his decision and you will not bother him anymore. However since you've given him a lot to think about, let him know he can call you if he'd like to talk more about it.
He'll will notice that you didn't get angry with him and that you were sincere. Because of this, there's always a chance he'll have second thoughts.
Wisdom is knowing what you can control and what you can't. You can learn to control yourself, your attitudes, your beliefs, and your emotions. That alone can be a difficult task. What you can't control is other people. Even if you try and succeed they will always resent you for forcing them to do something they don't want to do.
If you've been loving, kind, and sincere in spite of how badly you've been feeling, think about how wonderful you are.
Appreciate yourself as person and be your own best friend. Think about your self worth and the respect you have for yourself for being bigger than your emotions, for loving someone in spite of how they hurt you, and for the loving way you went about trying to get your ex boyfriend back.
Then think about your ex boyfriend. Do you want to force someone to love you? Will you feel loved if you know you forced someone into loving you? Is it possible to make someone love you if they don't?
Why would you want someone who doesn't appreciate you as much as you appreciate yourself? You deserve better!!!
Take some time to heal yourself emotionally. Do nice things for yourself. Appreciate yourself and your friends.
When you're ready, someone who really loves you will come around.
Sometimes it's better to cut your losses short and move on. Give thanks for the relationship and all you've learnt from it.
Wish your ex boyfriend well and detach yourself emotionally from him. This will make room in your heart for someone new.