Should I Meet Someone For Happy Hour On The First Date?
If you're a social drinker, and you've met someone online, you might want to suggest meeting for happy hour after work. There are several advantages to sharing a drink on the first date if you've never met in person before.
First of all, online dating is a numbers game. You usually need to go on several first dates with many different people before you find someone you're interested in and visa versa.
If you're the person extending invitations for a first date, you're the one who should pay for each date. So it makes sense to make the first date as inexpensive as possible. Chances are you'll never see most of these people again and it will not go past the first date.
Meeting at a coffee shop or happy hour can save you a lot of money over time. Meeting for coffee has it's advantages because without alcohol you'll see each other with all your first meeting jitters and nervousness. Even though you might be outgoing and relaxed, your date might be uncomfortable meeting a complete stranger for the first time.
Happy hours can be almost as inexpensive as meeting for coffee depending on where you go and if food is included with the happy hour. Some bars and restaurants provide appetizers if you buy a drink. Other places may offer discounts on food and drinks.
One of the advantages of meeting for a drink is that usually one or both people are nervous. Alcohol can make people relax and even let their guard down a little. This helps you to see each other in a more comfortable setting. Without alcohol you may not see any spark or chemistry because nervousness can create a cold, defensive wall that most people find unattractive.
The advantage of meeting for happy hour, is that you watch and see how much your date likes to drink. Excessive use of alcohol can ruin relationships. Why not find out how much your date likes to drink early on, - like maybe the first date! That way you don't get involved with someone you like a lot, only to find out later that they drink to excess.
If your date orders soda, coffee, or tea, there's something to talk about. Perhaps they don't drink or they're concerned about drinking and driving. Perhaps they have a business meeting after the date. Maybe they have a problem with alcohol and need to stay away from it completely. In any event, it might be an interesting conversation.
Some people will order a drink and sip it forever. They might not even finish their drink. This is a social drinker who probably doesn't drink very often and doesn't have a problem with alcohol. Other people will have several drinks or drink quickly. If you notice this, it's relatively easy to settle your tab and make a quick exit. Or you can stick around if you both like to drink. Just make sure you're not impaired and that you're under the legal limit before driving.
If you like to drink, it's probably not a good idea to meet your first dates at happy hours if you are driving. It's not worth risking a DUI or getting into an accident. If you're driving make sure that you're not drinking.
Several years ago, I recall meeting a very attractive woman for a first date at a local bar. She ordered a glass of wine and I ordered Scotch on the rocks. As soon as I did that she said she would have ordered that too because she loved Scotch but didn't want to appear to be an alcoholic. She quickly finished her wine and ordered scotch. I soon discovered that she loved to drink to excess.
Meeting for happy can be an inexpensive way to meet people for a first date. One drink helps some people to get over their initial nervousness and relax. You can also find out quickly how much your date loves to drink and how they handle themselves when they are drinking. It's best to avoid drinking more than one drink.
It's virtually impossible to experience a romantic connection with someone when they're nervous. That's why many online daters don't seem to connect with the new people they meet. First of all you're meeting a total stranger and secondly one or both of you may be nervous. Meeting in a romantic, calm setting, and having one drink together in a relaxing atmosphere can help ease the stress of an initial meeting.
Of course there are some disadvantages of meeting for happy hour. You should not drive if you've been drinking. Also it might be a little more expensive than coffee especially if you're buying food. Food is usually a good idea after work because drinking on an empty stomach increases the affect of alcohol.
Also if you ask someone off the internet to meet you for happy hour, they may assume that you like to drink, even if you're limit is only one drink or you don't drink at all. Some people drink sodas or ice tea at happy hours and go just because the food is less expensive. But your first date may not know that. You might send the wrong message to some people.
The other disadvantage is timing. You can meet at a coffee shop almost anytime. Happy hours may not fit into your schedule. And lastly alcohol may cloud your better judgement. It alters the mood and true nature of people. You might say and do things you normally wouldn't. They might do the same thing.
That's why it's ideal when both people limit themselves to one drink. One drink can take the edge off any nervousness, but it might not be enough to change someone's personality. Also as the alcohol wears off, you can see if you're date's personality has changed.
There are advantages and disadvantages of meeting for happy hours. Everyone is different. Only you can decide if inviting your first dates to happy hours is right for you.